What's wrong with women applying make-up on the train?

There’s nothing wrong with doing your make-up on the train, says Periwinkle Jones. It’s dead time and I want an extra 10 minutes in bed.

By Periwinkle Jones 12/07/2012 15:02

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“Oh my GAWWDD,” the American tourist cried, “What is she DOING? Doesn’t she have a bathroom?”. I spun around expecting some sort of faecal acrobatics from a fellow passenger (after all, this was the Northern line), before realising that her piercing squeal was directed towards me and my eyeliner.


I might be in the slow lane here, but I didn’t realise there was anything wrong with doing your make-up in public.


If anything, I thought that people who put their make-up on during their morning commute should be commended: the amount of hand-eye co-ordination it takes is unbelievable. It’s like one of those games where you have to run the metal hoop over the live metal coil without making the bell ring. But with the added danger of spearing yourself in the eye with a mascara wand and ruining all your hard work.


I quite like the transformation when a woman applies make-up on the train


After a quick straw poll of my friends it seems that people are split 50/50 on this.  Some have argued that applying your Boot No.7 in public ‘spoils the magic’. What magic? You could probably take an educated guess that I don’t have naturally long, inky black lashes and alabaster skin.


I quite like the transformation when a woman applies make-up on the train: she boards the carriage puffy-eyed and blinking like a mole rat coming out of its burrow and departs a sleek Siamese – all cat eyes and pouty blushes.


It’s like watching a live-action American make-over show, minus the crying.


Others issued dire warnings about dirty fingers touching sweaty handrails then rubbing SARS into skin alongside your Hide The Blemish stick. 


Anything that involves clipping, filing or plucking is a no-no


Some men complained that they’re not allowed to shave on the train, but it’s hardly the same category. A sweep of blusher doesn’t involve parts of you flying off and showering other passengers. In the same vein, anything that involves clipping, filing or plucking is a no-no.


There’s a definite code of conduct when applying make-up on the train; no loose powder as not to give the businessman sitting next to you a dust bath, no perfume to avoid accidental macings, no wiping your dirty fingers on the seats, and avoid anything that involves glitter; you’re not Tinkerbell and a showering of pixiedust will do little to improve anyone’s mood.


Am I on my own here? Is it ok for women to do their make-up on the train, or should they just get up a bit earlier? Join the debate on Twitter with the hashtag #socialvoices.


Periwinkle Jones has written for big name brands such as Cosmopolitan, Men's Health and Company both sides of the screen. Picked by Huffington Post as one of Twitter's funniest women she can most often be found there under the moniker @peachesanscream.


Follow Periwinkle Jones on Twitter @peachesanscream

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