I agree with Jools Oliver - you should check your partner's phone

There's nothing wrong with checking your partner's messages, says Periwinkle Jones. Just don't get caught!

By Periwinkle Jones 10/07/2012 11:20

Woman using mobile and laptop


Jools Oliver has gone on record as saying that she checks her husband Jamie Oliver’s phone, email and Twitter account. Some people would argue that she’s being jealous, but I’d say it’s just self-preservation.


While I’m not advocating donning dark glasses, a trench coat and following your partner from tree to tree, there’s nothing wrong with a quick snoop now and then.


Think about it: the very same social media devices you can use to keep tabs on your man are the ones that make it so easy for for so many people to carry on their illicit encounters. If your partner is playing away the whole lurid electronic paper trail is going to be there in plain sight.


It’s that one in ten heart-stopping jolt of fear when you see an unfamiliar opposite sex name in their inbox


Checking your partner’s messages keeps you on your toes too: nine out of ten times there will be nothing more exciting than work or friendly banter, but it’s that one in ten heart-stopping jolt of fear when you see name belonging to the opposite sex in their inbox, see them sign off with a kiss and throw yourself into a fit of panic before remembering that ‘Barbara’ is the name of your 80-year-old arthritic dog groomer.  It reminds you that your partner is desirable – a bit of a catch – and stops you from taking them for granted.


Anyone who trusts his or her partner 100% is insane. You can trust someone 90%, 95% at a push, but you can never be 100% sure that they wouldn’t cheat on you. Cheating is an opportunistic crime. If you bumped into Ryan Gosling at Tesco Metro, can you be 100% sure that you wouldn’t take his number?


An IT whizz I know installed some sort of device which BCC’d him into his wife’s every email


While I think taking the occasional snoop is healthy, you can take it too far: a friend of mine went through her partner’s phone while he was asleep and changed the last three digits of every female listed in his phone book. Somewhat inconvenient for him, you might agree. In another incident, an IT whizz I know installed some sort of device which BCC’d him into his wife’s every email – which somewhat ruined the surprise 40th she’d been planning for him.


If you’re going to check up on your partner, remember these three golden rules:

1. Don’t do it more than once a month. There’s self-preserving, then there’s neurotic

2. Take things in context. Just because he’s signed off an email to a work colleague with a kiss, doesn’t mean they’re swapping saliva at the watercooler

3. Don’t get caught!

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Periwinkle Jones has written for big name brands such as Cosmopolitan, Men's Health and Company both sides of the screen. Picked by Huffington Post as one of Twitter's funniest women she can most often be found there under the moniker @peachesanscream.


Follow Periwinkle Jones on Twitter @peachesanscream

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