Why do celebrities pretend that their looks are effortless?
Jennifer Aniston keeps wrinkles at bay by smearing Vaseline under her eyes each night. Yeah, right, says Periwinkle Jones
Apparently Jennifer Aniston’s beauty secret is a £1 pot of Vaseline? Oh, and she holds ice cubes on her face every night? Please steady me before I fall off my chair laughing.
Unless there is a hideous painting somewhere in her attic, I am willing to bet you a tub of Crème de la Mer that Ms. Aniston indulges in a regime tighter than that of any East Asian dictator.
Why do celebrities pretend that their looks are effortless? Their claims that their gym-honed bodes and lustrous locks are down little more than getting off the bus one stop early and using some L’Oreal are insulting to us ‘real’ women. It implies that with a bit of elbow grease we could look like we’ve just stepped off a film set: we’re all just too lazy/stupid to do it.
She blows a whopping £8,000 a month on beauty treatments
In the case of Ms Aniston, previous reports have stated that she spent $50,000 getting her hair done for the premiere of Marley & Me and blows a whopping $8,000 a month on beauty treatments. $8,000. Per month. That’s all of YOUR wages, spent on beauty products. How much Vaseline does this girl need?
We all know that Jen doesn’t just tumble out of bed looking perfect. There’s no doubt she looks amazing, but she’s also 43. You don’t look that amazing at 43 without a bit of a helping hand or making some sort of Faustean pact with the devil.
Jennifer Aniston isn’t the only celeb guilty of not revealing the whole raft of things she uses in her beauty routine: Kylie’s baby-smooth skin is apparently down to Pond’s cold cream, and Sarah Jessica Parker’s slim frame is due to ‘walking everywhere’. Right. If I started walking now and didn’t stop until I was 43, I still wouldn’t have her toned biceps and washboard stomach.
If my peachy-soft skin was the result of have acid smothered on my face (and it really hurt) I’d want to tell EVERYONE
I’m not berating the celebs for having this extra helping hand – speaking as a girl who routinely mascaras her fringe and seems to have varnish-repelling nails – if I had the money I’d do the exact same thing. For a start, if my peachy-soft skin was the result of have acid smothered on my face (and it really hurt) I’d want to tell EVERYONE, and probably show them pictures too.
Periwinkle Jones has written for big name brands such as Cosmopolitan, Men's Health and Company both sides of the screen. Picked by Huffington Post as one of Twitter's funniest women she can most often be found there under the moniker @peachesanscream.
Follow Periwinkle Jones on Twitter @peachesanscream
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