This is not just advertising…

Marks & Spencer has announced its first fall in profits in three years. Like-for-like sales fell 1.8% in the last year and the decline was driven by a poor performance in womenswear.

Now, we can't help but think that this drop in womenwear is down to the truly awful 'very British' summer campaign the high street behemoth has been plastering all over our TV screens since April.

Ghosts from M&S past have returned for the summer ad. They've bought back Mylenne Klass, Dannii Minogue, underwear hottie Noemie Lenoir and housewives favourite Gary Barlow, who were all shunted aside last year for the Hollywood gloss of Rosie Huntington-Whiteley and Ryan Reynolds. Low and behold even after being snubbed for the LA glitterati, they've all maintained a 'very British' stiff upper-lip and are still smiling.

These "much-loved celebs" rejoin M&S stalwart Twiggy, Lisa Snowdon and Jamie Rednapp in an overblown vision of British summer. Oh my, look! Twiggy is hosting a quaint garden party! My oh my, Myleene and Danni have been dressed in frocks that add 10 years onto their pretty faces but are still having sooooo much fun in the eggs and spoons in the race. And oh, how cute - Lisa Snowden looks like she's having a wonderful time boating in her ill-fitting top...

The whole advert is saccharine sweet and gut-wrenchingly twee. All of the "much-loved celebs" have been made to look dowdy and just a bit too wholesome - not a great advert for M&S' quite frankly, very good womenswear range.

Let's just hope that the customers can start to see past this sickening display of mock summer and begin buying their well-made skirts and dresses again, otherwise we'll all have to endure a jazzy faux Christmas dance routine hitting our TV screens later this year...