Fortina Spa
Going to the dentist has never been considered a bundle of laughs. You sit in a chair dribbling down your chin as a strange man pokes around painfully in the darkest depths of your mouth. It can be uncomfortable to say the least.
Not only that, but with the average price of cosmetic procedures, such as teeth whitening, costing around £495 in the UK, it can be painful on your pocket too. Small wonder then, that many Brits are now opting for dentistry abroad. Not only is it cheaper, but (some argue) the level of service can exceed that offered by dentists in the UK. I decided to try dentistry abroad for myself at the Fortina Spa in Malta.
Years of drinking at least eight cups of tea a day has left my teeth less than gleaming, so I booked myself in for a special Zoom Teeth whitening treatment with Dr. Robert Lautier, Fortina Spa's resident cosmetic dentist, packed a bikini or two and headed for the airport.
If you've never visited Malta before, the architecture is likely to remind you of Venice or Rome with its sandstone buildings and ornate Juliette balconies. It's around 58 miles south of Sicily and is made up of an archipelago of islands, only three of which are inhabited - Malta Island; Gozo and Comino. Fortina Spa is located on Malta.
I'm both excited and nervous about getting my teeth whitened abroad, but the spa resort itself is reason enough to visit. Situated on Marsamxett Harbour in Sliema looking out towards Valetta, with a pool and sun terrace right by the water, it's perfectly located for a spot of R&R.
As I'm left alone in my room, I can't help but do a little gleeful jig. All the rooms at Fortina have their own private Jacuzzi located on a raised platform behind the bed, complete with twinkling fairy lights, but some of the rooms actually have their own in-built spa equipment in the bathroom, including a hydrotherapy bath, sauna and Dermalife - a body detoxification capsule that resembles a giant futuristic egg. The icing on the cake is my own private hot tub on the balcony.
As well as all the treats in the room, there are four exclusive spas on the ground floor, providing a plethora of activities like Thalaso (heated seawater pool); Tepidarium (heated relaxation room); a whirlpool and so much more.
If you fancy a little something extra while visiting, there are many treatments to choose from, whether it's a Cleopatra horses milk bath or a chocolate sugar scrub, or just a simple pedicure or facial, you're bound to find something to help you relax and unwind.
Fortina Spa
It feels strange to saunter straight from the pool to the dentist but my usual pre-dental nerves have been numbed slightly by a pina colada or two.
I'd initially worried about the language barriers associated with getting my teeth done abroad. Could a miscommunication lead to a set of unwanted veneers or the removal of a vital tooth? But I needn't have worried, Robert introduces himself in perfect English and explains exactly what will happen with the tooth whitening.
First he'll clean and polish my teeth, then he'll apply the bleaching agent, which he'll need to clean off and reapply every eight minutes.
All I have to do is sit back and wait patiently.
Would you like to watch a movie? He asks as I settle in for the duration of my treatment. I'm so surprised I almost swallow my gum guard, but there is indeed a television screen right in front of me; he pops on a Hugh Grant flick and I sit back comfortably, hardly noticing as Robert swabs off my teeth and intermittently changes my gel.
The whole process takes just over an hour, but the actual bleaching itself takes around half an hour to 40 minutes.
It isn't just tooth whitening Fortina's dental clinic specialize in, they have a full list of services from a basic check-up to veneers and crowns all for a smidgen of the price you would pay in England.
Just as Hugh Grant and Drew Barrymore are about to get together in the film, I feel a slight twinge in one of my lower teeth. Robert tells me this is nothing to worry about and it will pass. Gratefully it's over in a few seconds. In order to whiten the teeth, the bleach needs to infiltrate the enamel, which can leave the teeth sensitive for a couple of days afterwards. There are a few more of these 'popcorn' moments (as Robert refers to them) and then it's all over.
At first glance my teeth don't look glaringly white, but when Robert shows me the before and after pictures I can see quite a difference in the colour. I leave with strict instructions not to eat any coloured food or drink red wine, tea or coffee over the next 48 hours (whilst my enamel is still susceptible to staining).
Not eating some of the delicious tomato-rich Maltese dishes is a struggle, and I'm gasping for a cup of tea by the end of it, but with a few days of tanning time to set off my new white teeth, I leave Malta feeling fresh faced and ready for autumn.
Teeth Whitening at the Fortina clinic in Malta costs €395 (around £360), but they have a special offer on at the moment making it €350 (£320).
Seven nights half board starts from £599 and includes a return flight from Gatwick, the five star Tower Garden View Room, half board a la carte meals, daily free access to the Spa Sante, airport transfers in Malta and a cruise of Malta's grand harbour. Upgrade to a spa bedroom is £49 per person, per night.
For more details see www.fortinasparesort.com.
