image © Rex Features
Unless you’re blessed with the metabolism of a mayfly, or willpower to top the Dalai Llama’s, you’re likely to have developed at least one area on your body that’s prone to a bit of fat.
And while you know that’s a perfectly normal and acceptable part of life, you also know that if you want to have that slice of carrot cake/three glasses of wine/Sunday roast, you’re going to have to put some time in at the gym in order to keep your flab in check.
Well, not anymore ladies…You may have read my article on sat nav pants - a Brazilian invention enabling partners to track their other half with sat nav technology hidden in their smalls.
But now, thanks to Japanese Chemical company Teijin, we could actually wear away our flab by donning a similarly bonkers creation: special fat-burning pants called Nanofronts!Apparently, the special fibres used in these fancy pants are just 700 nanometres in diameter (that’s 7,500 times thinner than a human hair) and they’re usually used for making industrial polishing cloths, so just imagine what they could do for your derriere if they can get a shine out of even the most tarnished of materials.
Teijin claims that people who have worn underwear made from the fibres for 40 consecutive days lowered their body fat by several percent and their waist size by several centimetres.
In order to shave off those extra wobbly bits, all one needs to do is let the fabric hug their skin to generate friction resistance when they go about their daily routines, such as jogging around the park or a vigorous bout of vacuuming.
I foresee problems though. Remember those polyester nighties your Gran used to wear? They made crackling noises whenever you went near her and she was constantly covered in stray socks due to all the static electricity.
Similarly, with all that friction going on in your (Nano) pants, surely you’d be in danger of doing yourself, or someone else, a mischief?
I daren’t even imagine what might happen if you and your man both wore nano-undies. An innocent roll in the hay could bring a more literal meaning to the saying, ‘pants on fire’.
Safety aside though, is wearing any kind of underwear for 40 consecutive days ever a good idea? I’ve known lazy people turn theirs inside out for a day (in emergencies) but after 40 days, I think it’s safe to say you’d have a whole train carriage to yourself.
Admittedly, inch loss isn’t something we can claim of our usual cotton mix drawers, but like my Gran always said, ‘cleanliness is next to godliness’ and in this case, I think she’s right.
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