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A friend came over for dinner last week and as she removed her jacket to reveal a pair of arms that would make Madonna jealous I couldn’t help barking, “When did you get those?”
“What?” she said innocently.
“Your arms! They’re so toned!”
“Oh, I’ve been doing a bit of exercise, you know, for the summer,” she explained bashfully.
Walking through the street the next day I suddenly noticed the smorgasbord of toned, tanned limbs emerging from the sleeves and skirts of those around me and all I could think was, ‘where was I while all this toning was going on?’
It’s happens every year; one minute I’m boxing up the Christmas decorations, the next summer is here and suddenly I’m shoehorning my pasty-looking body into a bikini. As I stand in front of the bedroom mirror bemoaning my wobbly bits, it’s as if the past six months (when, judging by those around me, I should have been consuming only fruit and veg and sweating at the gym) never happened.
But we’re all in the same boat, right? Wrong.
When it comes to shedding those winter pounds in time for the bikini season, some women are very tight-lipped about their regime and it seems they’ll do anything to keep their efforts under wraps. One girl I used to work with would hide her gym bag in the ladies loos and sneak it out with her at lunchtime on the pretence of going shopping. It was only when she turned up at the summer party in a bodycon dress six months later she finally revealed where all her lunch hours had really gone.
So why are some of us so secretive about our quest for bikini-worthy bodies?
“Women can be very critical of each other’s bodies,” says Mandy Cassidy, Consultant Psychotherapist for weight loss company LighterLife. “I think that often girls hide the fact they are dieting because they are afraid they will be judged, or even criticized by others for dieting in the first place.”
It’s true that the mere mention of cutting down on the chocolate coated digestives can have the unfortunate effect of drawing attention to any lumps or bumps you do have, or sparking a whispered debate over whether or not you need to lose weight.
“But,” Mandy adds “this often comes from others being self-critical and competitive. Women are generally judged by their bodies/looks more than men and there’s more pressure for women to shape up themselves if those around them are dieting and working out.”
Other explanations are that we are afraid of failing in our quest to lose weight, seeming vain, or we simply just want the satisfaction of revealing our newly pert figure as a finished masterpiece, rather than a work in progress.
I must admit, suddenly unveiling a perfectly toned body that’s been under wraps is much more appealing than sharing an inch by inch account along the way.
But Mandy argues that you might stand more chance of succeeding if you do confide in your closest friends and even consider joining forces and shaping up for summer together. “Going it alone can be very difficult and far from hindering you, support is likely to spur you on and ensure your efforts are not in vain,” she says.
Either way, all I know is that next year, I’ll be starting early.
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